Why hasn’t the bottle of Superdrug water made me happy?

Whilst in Belfast recently (and what a gorgeous place that is) I bought a bottle of Natural Mineral Water (Still) in @superdrug at @belfastairport – no big deal you might think!

Water that ‘guarantees’ your happiness

Well, after a few sips, while waiting for my plane,  I noticed the following statement on the label – ‘100% happiness guaranteed‘. Wow … lucky me!

After I stopped laughing .. my next reaction was to think, “what a load of brown stuff” and then I had a fascinating debate on the plane with my ‘next door neighbour’.

Whilst I still maintain the statement is worse than utter rubbish, I cannot understand how any label can get away with making such a promise given all the legislation we have in the UK? Can anyone answer this? Who on G-d’s earth can guarantee 100% happiness? Or is it meant to be funny?

And then it occurred to me, that David Cameron @Number10gov should perhaps buy bucket loads of this water as it might then help his so called Happiness Campaign … you heard it here first!

On another equally bizarre note … last night whilst watching the box I saw an advert for one of the Olympic sponsors (and I shall not dignify them with a plug here). The add was encouraging all of us to go out and buy chocolate so we might win a ticket to The Games. Yes that’s right … eat chocolate, put on weight between now and July (87 days to go today!) and you might just win an illusive ticket to a London sporting event!

OK, let’s de-construct this – here is a wonderful contradiction which I have no doubt will continue to baffle me for the rest of my life. Well, perhaps not … the answer is below *

Put aside for a minute the fact that we have allowed a chocolate, soft drinks and burger joint to sponsor the 2012 Olympics (all of course increadibly healthy products that the UK government want us to cut back on) … in the UK we have a huge obesity problem!

This obesity epidemic allegedly worries our prime minister @camerondirect (don’t follow this Twitter account as they have not posted since May 2010) and yet we not only allow a chocolate manufacturer to sponsor a sports event, we are now allowing it to advertise and encourage chocolate eating so a lucky few who eat enough chocolate can go and sit and watch people being healthy.

Give me a break (no Kit Kats thank you)- and then the powers that be wonder why their health messages don’t get through and people continue to put on weight.

Listen carefully … mixed messages never work – they are confusing by their very nature. You shouldn’t need a PR consultancy to tell you that.

Now here is another genius idea … if we had got @superdrug to sponsor the London Olympics, we would not only be hydrated whilst watching the Games (a good thing), we would be 100% happy too … it says it on the label … guaranteed!

* £££!

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